I am born and brought up in a very protective family. Being the only girl child in the family I was given so much love and affection. Being the only sister of four brothers; I was always protected. Was never left alone for a while. Always accompanied either by parents or brothers wherever I went. I was lucky enough to have very good schoolmates. I had studied in a co-education school. My friend’s circle had more boys than girls. I was again loved by my friends because I always respected them. My good and understanding nature was a bonus for me as I never had any fights with my friends. They were like my extended family. When I had to go for tuitions I was accompanied by my boy’s gang. So even here I wasn’t left alone. I was always looked after by someone; all the time.
I grew up being protected. Family and brothers at home and friends in school. I didn’t get a chance to know the real world outside. I always thought the world outside is as safe as I am getting to see. I never knew it was only one side of the coin. The real picture of the outside world was yet to see by me. I was happy being unaware of the reality. Life was full of happiness and good people around me who were my family; close to my heart; I trusted a lot because I had no reason not to trust them. Everyone was nice to me throughout my journey. I completed my schooling. I have such wonderful memories of those days which I still cherish and share with my daughter whenever I remember them. I had been on family trips and educational trips with school friends. Even on trips I was guarded and protected always by my family and friends. I always felt pampered; cared for; loved and protected. I always thought people are so understanding. The world is full of good-hearted people. I entered into my college life. New friends as I had chosen different fields for further studies. Got separated from my school gang. Had to meet new friends. It was difficult initially but was lucky enough here too; found very good friends. But I was missing my boy’s gang. I did my college in Women’s college. Still had managed to complete my graduation with good friends and wonderful memories.
After college, I joined my father’s business helping him with his accounts. So again I was gaining experience of something new but in a known environment. I never got a chance here too; to meet outsiders and interact with unknown people. My life was going smooth and steady. I was as usual happy and unaware of the real world. Few years passed and I was about to get married. My engagement was fixed. I met an unknown person and in few meetings, it was decided I am getting married to him. Engagement days were just so beautiful. Though only a few months were there for marriage still those days were beautiful. Everything was new. I was going to enter into the most important phase of my life. My life was about to change forever. As I will be living with a new family at new house; leaving behind my own family. Until I got married I was showered so much love by my family and my in-laws. It was certain to receive so much love and extra care from my parents and family. I didn’t understand at that time though.
The day arrived and I was officially married and came to my new house. Everything was so nice and filmy type as I had seen on screen in movies. I had the same feeling of being cared for and protected as I was always had. But I didn’t know; everything will change. Hereafter marriage I am no more going to be pampered. I am rather made responsible for taking care of my new family. Learning their lifestyle and getting adjusted to their way of living without questioning. I did that willfully and happily. I never thought of my in-law’s house; it was my own house but little I knew for them I was still an outsider. I was ordered always to do work. My feelings never mattered to anyone; not even my husband. I was always left alone because I was still an outsider. Nobody cared about me and my emotions. All these came as shock. For the first time in my life, I felt humiliated and ignored. This was just beginning. My life was ruined by them. It was torturous. I was broken and shattered. After few years of living a life of hell, I decided to part my ways with my husband. We got separated after a long legal battle. I got custody of my daughter and I came to stay with my parents.
My life was like a roller coaster. I was back in a safe environment; with my daughter and was leaving with my family. But things were different now. Though I had a supportive family; I also had responsibilities for my daughter. I decided to work and be independent. I joined another firm and started working. Now I realized the world is so different. I should have got exposed to this earlier itself. I would have been ready at least to face the harsh world. I believe and really want my daughter to learn about the reality of life from a young age itself. I don’t want her to be felt always protected and pampered rather I want her to become stronger and stronger day by day.
Sejal Davey Counselor and Coach (Child, Career and Parenting)
மனித உறவுகள் இங்கே ஆயிரம் ஒவ்வொரு உயிரும் படைக்க படும் போது அதற்கேற்ற உடல் அமைப்புடனும் குணாதிசயங்களோடும் படைக்க படுகிறது,…
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